Blog

Hey Girl, the Podcast, Episode 1

Welcome to the premier episode of Hey Girl, the podcast! I’m Kem with an “E” and I’m so excited to welcome you here. For two years we came to you live on Facebook, at the height of the Covid-19 pandemic. We swapped stories and shared the insights of amazing women just like you. There were so many great conversations! Now, we’re back with more inspiration and information to help you live your best life. At the end of the day, life can be complex and overwhelming, but knowing we’re not alone is what helps us get through.

In this premier episode of Hey Girl, the podcast I explain what this show is all about.  Girlfriends hold each other up, hold each other accountable, or just hold each other. Our lives require a lot from us and often our only reprieve is when we’re hangin’ with our girls—the ones who call our name without judgment. In this podcast we’ll dig deeper into this question of identity—how we see ourselves and how others see us—but we’ll begin with who we are in relation to God. We’ll make his name for us our starting point. Then we’ll look at how we tackle our day-to-day responsibilities. Do we operate from a position of weakness or strength? Hey Girl, the podcast, is here to help you identify your strengths. This is a journey towards wholeness and fullness with your girlfriends by your side!

The Mount Calvary Women's Ministries Department held a mini-conference on Sunday, March 5, 2023 and their theme was "Thriving and Soaring." In this talk I suggest that the shortcomings keeping us in bondage could be the fuel God uses to empower us and others.

Hey GIrl, the Podcast, Episode 4

I’d like to introduce you to my friend Rachel—a woman who is loving and kind. She exudes a positivity and optimism that is inspiring. But to meet Rachel today, you would never know the amazing experience she lived through. 

Rachel’s parents were Christians who believed that Jesus’ return was imminent, so they uprooted their family and moved to the remote woods of Tennessee—where there was no electricity, no running water, no people--completely disconnected from civilization! You might think that Rachel’s experience would turn her away from God. After all, who can love a God who looks and sounds like your father—the red-headed tyrant who keeps you confined and bound by guilt and shame? But Rachel says God revealed Himself to her despite the distorted perception of Him that she was shown. Rachel’s story is proof that no matter how harsh, unfair or even extreme your circumstances might be, God is a constant, loving presence who is still in control—even when life seems out of control! He wants you to know that He’s with you, He hears you, He has you and you are His.

If you'd like to connect with Rachel and learn more about her book, Born Yesterday,click here: Rachel Williams Smith

Hey Girl, the Podcast, Episode 3

Are you part of the popular crowd or are you a loner? Do you make friends easily or do you have a hard time finding your people? I get it. I’ve spent most of my life not fitting in—or at least I’ve felt like I didn’t. I have often tried to adjust myself to be like others because I equated being different with being wrong or broken in some way. Do you ever feel that way?

When I became friends with Tanzy Chandler I was immediately drawn to her calm and quiet demeanor as well as her gentle acceptance of others. But this acceptance that she extends to us, she was not always able to extend to herself.  If you meet her today you will see a strong, confident and beautiful woman who has a huge social media presence and a powerful, motivational fitness ministry. But there was a time in Tanzy’s life when none of this was possible. She was a young pastor’s wife and mother trying to be all things to all people, but quickly Tanzy learned that it’s only when we stop trying to be like others—and stop trying to live up to standards set by others-- that we discover who God made us to be and that discovery may free us to be more than we ever imagined! Inserting ourselves into roles that weren’t meant for us is like forcing square pegs into round holes; we may fit, but not without sustaining damage.

Hey Girl, the Podcast Episode 2

Have you ever wondered how God could use someone like you? Have you always been the underdog, the nerd, the last one picked for the team? Or have you just had some serious failures in your life and now you think it will be too hard to recover. If this is you, stay tuned, before you give up, I have someone I want you to meet.

“The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, “Mighty hero, the Lord is with you! …’But Lord,’ Gideon replied, ‘how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!’” (Judges 6:12,15, NLT).

It was a classic God move to choose the least likely candidate among the Israelite tribes to take on the task of saving His people from an army that was like a “swarm of locusts” (Judges 6:5, CEV). But God has the ability to see beyond the present moment and call what will be as though it already is. The trick is to listen for that and act according to His Word and not according to what you see when you look in the mirror. He told Gideon, “Go with the strength you have…I am sending you!” That’s all Gideon needed.  He may have been the least likely to do it, but he did it, and so can you.

Veronica Cope is a native of Tarboro, a tiny town about 70 miles from Raleigh where she lived with her parents and three siblings. Her family was poor but hardworking and Veronica raised to love God and follow His path for her. Presently, Veronica Cope is an acclaimed lawyer and superior court judge in Gwinnett County Georgia, but this is not where her story began. At an early age, Veronica rebelled against her Christian upbringing and got pregnant. She was just twelve years old! In our interview she describes how she rose from the ashes of poverty and poor decisions to now sit on the bench where justice is served.

Like Gideon, you may see yourself as ill-equipped for the work God is calling you to. Like Veronica, you may have made some serious mis-steps which could disqualify you, but as these two stories remind us. God’s plan will succeed with or without us. You can either join Him or stay where you are.

Two years ago this month, the world turned upside down! We were afraid to go outside, so we turned to our technology to fill the void where people once were. Athough it was a precarious time, we made the best of it. Now here we are, 100 episodes later.

It’s 3 am and I’m wide awake. I don’t know why, but I just can’t sleep. So I opened my laptap and stumbled upon a digital journal entry from January, 2014:

Hey Girl is all about positivity, encouragement and sisterhood. We're here to cheer you on and we encourage you to do the same! Check out the Hey Girl High 5 list and offer your support to these small businesses. They deserve it!

Well…here it is at last! Books & Coffee is now the JustKem blog! It’s been a long and winding path, but here we are! In case you didn't know, Books & Coffee was a blog that I started back in 2017 because I needed to put words on the page and I needed to have an audience to whom I could be accountable. I had a burning desire to build bridges with my words, so I threw up a hail Mary in hopes that somebody out there would hear me.

Ladies! This Saturday we're talking about our bodies--if you or someone you know is approaching mid-life, you know that hormones are a beast, but Dr. McMillan is here to help us! Join us for real talk this week.

...

​Last night I had dinner with a woman whose 9-year-old niece has a best-seller on Amazon! As I listened in polite amazement I was thinking back over the past 20 years of my own life and wondering where did I go wrong? How many TV shows did I watch instead of sitting down to write? How many dishes did I wash instead of sitting down to write? How many papers did I grade instead of sitting down to write? How many days did I spend doubting instead of sitting and writing? What did this little girl figure out in her few short years that I haven’t yet in my long life? And here I am at the end of another year with an unfinished manuscript on my night stand. What is wrong with me if a 9-year-old can write a best-seller and I can’t even finish a manuscript? It’s easy to get discouraged, isn’t it?

In this episode Kem talks to YouTube sensation, Heather Martin, also known as "Chef Mommy' about vegan cooking and how to survive with kids who are allergic to everything!

“At its most basic we are only discussing a learned skill, but do we not agree that sometimes the most basic skills can create things far beyond our expectations? We are talking about tools and carpentry, about words and style…but…we are also talking about magic.” Stephen King, On Writing

Kem and Kim talk to Tanzy Chandler, a pastor's wife who doesn't fit the mold--and she's okay with that.

Like every student who drifts into the writing center uncertain about the outcome, at times I too have wondered “what am I doing here?” But, I’m here to write. While providing you with writing help I’ll also practice my own writing process, because I really do believe that if we stick with it, eventually a tiny window will open and the light will shine in.

You might think that because I know what you should do to improve your writing skills and reach your goals, I must be already improving my own skills and reaching my own goals, right? Wrong. The reality is, developing writers aren’t the only ones who struggle. All of us have to make a daily decision–are we going to push through what’s hard, or break out before the breakthrough because we have to go to work, or go to class, or just…go? Writing is a process that involves the writer and the writing.

I made the mistake of listening to an old voice message today, from someone I thought was a friend. She was responding to a question I had asked in a previous message—a simple request, but it would have required two things: (1) her vested interest in my well-being and (2) her willingness to vouch for my ability. Her response was wordy, but it can be easily summed: no. She was not for me. What surprised me most is that in the past I had supported her, vouched for her, even promoted her. I mean, I wasn’t asking for money or a co-sign on a car loan. It was merely a request to say in public “this is a person you should know; she has potential.”

Recently my daughter was inducted into the National Honor Society, a prestigious organization, in existence since 1921, that recognizes the achievements of young people who have excelled in scholarship, service, leadership, and character. It was a very big deal that she was chosen. She worked hard to submit the requisite materials and, in general, she has worked hard over the years to be the type of individual worthy of this honor. However, my daughter is my husband’s child, which means that she is also known for her wise cracks and silliness in spite of her serious aspirations.

Stephen King is the author of more than fifty books, all of them worldwide bestsellers and many of his stories have been made into wildly popular movies and television series. If anyone is familiar with success, it’s Stephen King! Yet, “Stevie” King was also the child of a single mom who worked for less than minimum wages just to make ends meet. By his senior year of high school he was bagging loose fabric at a factory everyday after school and eating cereal for dinner every night. He also had a high school teacher who condemned his work. King says she made him feel ashamed and shame was a feeling with which he became most familiar:

Yesterday I invited you to take up your pen and write, or re-write your story. Today, Tanzy shares her re-vision. Read on!

For Part 1 of this story go to Prisoner in Paradise.

Prisoner in Paradise, Part 2: Princess Diaries

“I find myself in this place so often it’s becoming redundant. I wonder if this will be the door that opens all of the other doors that have been, thus far, closed to me. No. Locked. Here I am again, trudging through this labyrinth of entanglements, bumping into one dead end after another.

Once upon a time a peasant girl met a handsome prince who swept her off her feet and carried her away to his magical kingdom to live “happily ever after.” There he provided her with “everything she could ever want”–a gorgeous castle, fancy clothes, servants and chariots. Eventually, she even gave birth to two beautiful children.

It was like a dream, Malea wasn’t sure if this was really happening–sirens and EMTs and flashing lights and people in white shirts running back and forth across her lawn. She stood on her front porch watching everything as if it were a television show. She had tried to call her husband, but couldn’t reach him.  She glanced at her watch, 5:15.